The UK is open for business and the world is knocking at our door

Two Republican senators have introduced a UK Trade Continuity Act to the US Senate to confirm existing Anglo-American trade agreements and establish a bilateral trade deal within 12 months.

Iceland has invited the UK to join a "triangle of nations" in the north Atlantic that aren't part of the EU. The President of Iceland seems to be envisaging a trade alliance with the UK, Iceland, Norway, the Faroe Islands and Greenland.

New Zealand has offered to send its top trade negotiator to draw up a trade agreement between the UK and New Zealand whilst Australia and South Korea have called for "immediate talks" on free trade with the UK. India and Canada have also contacted the British government to start trade talks whilst Mexico has already drafted a free trade agreement in anticipation of a Brexit vote.

So much for being "back of the queue" and alone in the world.

EU gives Swine Fever instructions

While the first confirmed cases of swine flu in the UK were being treated in a Scottish hospital, the European Empire summoned the health ministers of all member states to an emergency summit to give them their instructions.

The EU Health Commissioner has issued advice against unnecessary travel to Mexico and other areas with cases of swine flu. Christ, the man's a genius.

You would expect health ministries to be left alone and get on with their job but this isn't the EU way of course. David Milliband, the Foreign Minister, said that it is "right that we put the issue of swine fever on the foreign ministers' agenda" because there needs to be "maximum European co-ordination". Why does there need to be maximum European co-ordination and how does the Foreign Minister suddenly know how best to deal with an outbreak of a Mexican flu virus?

What we need to do is stop all travel to and from countries that have cases of swine flu and to vet anyone coming into the country to make sure they haven't been to any of the affected areas in the last couple of weeks. One small problem though - we can't close our borders to "EU citizens" and we can't interfere in their "right" to travel to our country whether it risks spreading swine flu round the country or not.

Another one of the obvious and tangible benefits of being in the European Empire.