Labour elects giant insect as leader

Apparently some other party has been having a leadership election as well and they announced their result today.

Ed the Millibeast won the contest to be leader of something called the Labour Party by getting less votes than his brother David and convincing the unions that he was the candidate most likely to give them lots of money if the country ever decides to elect a communist again.

Vote for me or I'll eat your brains

Surprisingly, there was only one black woman amongst the 5 candidates despite Harriet Harperson overseeing the election.  Presumably she was unable to change the rules in time to enforce a 50/50 male/female, white/black, disabled/able bodied, straight/gay quota.

The token woman candidate, Diane Abbot, came last by quite a margin.  It's a good job Labour members are so much better than the rest of us otherwise some people might unfairly suggest that Diane Abbott was so comprehensively rejected because she was a nobody placed into the contest thanks to the sympathy nominations she received from the other candidates.

Ed the Millibeast gave a rousing victory speech in his best working class Eton accent which I'm sure was terribly motivating to the adoring masses in the conference hall.  It certainly motivated me ... to renew my UKIP membership when it expires.